Pointless.

I'm tired of everything that's happening. I don't want to do anything anymore. I don't want to do these routines anymore. I'm tired of everything. I want to just give up on life and do what I want to do without worrying about school, lovelife, money, or the future. Wouldn't that be fun? I wouldn't say my life would be pointless if that ever happens. Remember that I'll be doing what I want, what I love to do. Why can't life just be as simple as that? No responsibilities. No anything. Just you.

Ah, what a selfish thing to be thinking about.

I'M JUST TIRED OF EVERYTHING. It's like the events in my life are on repeat.

I know this is very very stupid, but.. This is all about Amos. I BET YOU SAW THAT COMING :)) I am clueless. I'm confused on what to do. YOU HAVE NO IDEA.. NO IDEA.. on the things we went through, together. And apparently, NO ONE KNOWS how much I love Amos. I TRIED TO MOVE ON AS HARD AS I COULD. I REALLY DID. Did. I stopped moving on. Because I know deep within myself that I'm kidding myself. I don't want this. I don't want any of these if Amos won't be a part of it. Yes, I am very very stupid to be controlled by the things he wants, BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA, OKAY? You don't know how much I am willing to give up just for him. Tell you, I'd give up anything, everything.

What a stupid way to be in love.

I just want him back, please. God.

For now, I don't want to do anything. I'm tired of trying to be happy for him. I'm tired of lying to myself. AND FOR WHAT I HONESTLY FEEL, I feel like my life's pointless without him.

AND I SUCK FOR THESE FEELINGS.

But what do I care about what's right or wrong now.

This is what I feel. There's no right or wrong there. It's just what it is.