This is happening all too soon.

So this guy was telling me that he can't get over his ex, even after 2 years. I told him I can see myself in him. He told me that it's not supposed to be that way. The girl is not supposed to chase the guy. And I thought, he has a point. I'm not the one who should chase, I should be the one to be chased. WHAT'S WITH ALL THE CHASING :))

Somehow, I got hurt in that conversation. And I thought to myself, why am I the one crying over the break up when I know that I deserve so much better.

The problem is, I have an issue in letting go.. and being alone. Not literally alone, but single.. single is the right word :)) Wait.. not single. Hmm. Replaced maybe? You see people, I have a very low self-esteem. Meaning, I don't see myself as a beautiful person. I think I'm a bit beautiful inside, a bit cute on the outside.. but that's it, no more vanity :)) See, MAYA, I don't love myself as much as you think. =)) Because of this low self-esteem, I'm losing hope in finding the right guy. I was searching for cute guys earlier. I found some.. but no, they didn't notice me :( I liked this certain guy I saw earlier. I got to sit with him the whole bus trip home, and we didn't talk to each other :( I know it's not usual for Filipino guys to talk to random girls, but I liked him. I was really hoping he'd talk to me or something. I imagined him talking to me, then it'll be A START OF SOMETHING NEW, like the high school musical song :3

The conversation I mentioned.. with the guy that can't move on.. I realized that I'm not an ordinary girl. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but if I want something to happen, I WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN. Like, when I want to be with Amos, I make it happen. When I want to be with my friends, I make it happen. When I want to meet Maroon 5, I MAKE IT HAPPEN YEAAHHHHH~~~!!!!

Maybe it's a bad thing because it's not usual for girls to act like a guy. I mean, I chased Amos because CLEARLY I wanted him back. I looked desperate and pathetic. But, what do you want me to do? Wait? Move on? When I don't really want to move on? Don't you think it will be a bit self destructing?

But, of course, there will be situations like this that.. what I really want must not really happen. Chasing Amos is wrong in so many ways. One, girls do not chase after guys. Second, Amos has a new girlfriend. Third, I deserve so much better than him. Fourth, he does not want me anymore. AND THE LIST GOES ON.

It kills me to know that he's happy with another girl, that I'VE BEEN REPLACED. But at the same time, I feel happy for them. Also happy for myself, that at least.. after all these pain, my love, is very happy.

But my love, someday you will die. Sabi yan ng Death Cad for Cutie.. which is true. :))

I'd rather be dead than to be alive to see you dead. I don't want you to die. I want you to AT LEAST mourn. You loved me once, and what we shared.. It's all priceless. I just want you to show me that you did love me, and you treasure everything, and that you're sad that you lost me.

This is happening all too soon. I wish you had your mourning period or something.

BUT OKAY, THAT'S YOU'RE LIFE-in which I have no control of. I'm sorry.

I'm thinking of deleting your friends and family in facebook.. but they became a part of my life so.. I'm thinking about that THOROUGHLY, because I don't want anything anything ANYTHING about you anymore. Now, GO AWAY. I LOVE YOU.

WHAT IS THIS, MOVIE REVIEWS!?

Watched 4 movies in 2 days: PS. I love you, Blue Valentine, Never Let Me Go, and Serendipity. I wanted to watch a tear jerking movie like The Notebook pero yung PS. I love You lang yung pumantay. Grabe, PS. I love you is the shit. I will do that for my husband! That is.. IF I'M LUCKY ENOUGH TO FIND MY HUSBAND. Blue Valentine.. MAKES YOU NOT WANT TO BELIEVE IN TRUE LOVE. Grabe, that movie sucks. No happy ending :( They fell in love, they got married, but then they separated. WHAT A SUCKISH LOVE STORY. DIE DIE DIE. But at least their story's amazing. BTW, LOTS OF SEX SCENES IN THAT MOVIE :)) Never Let Me Go.. hmm. I didn't know it was Science fiction pala. If I had known, I shouldn't have watched it. I WAS SEARCHING FOR A ROMANTIC DRAMA KASI, NOT A COMPLICATED STORY LIKE NEVER LET ME GO :( But, in fairness, that movie's awesome. I wish I had a clone like them, then I would never be alone again. Hihi. An addition to its awesomeness is the all star cast. I mean, it's weird. Andrew Garfield from The Social Network, Carey Mulligan from Wall Street, and Natalie Portman from Black Swan. WHAT IS AWESOME.. and weird. :)) Hmm, Serendipity. An old movie. It taught me to believe in destiny, and wait. Patience. It will happen at the right time. :333

So, now.. I am feeling BETTER. Better than expected. :)

Love is a complicated thing. It comes in different ways, in different forms. Love, the ultimate source of happiness and pain.

I'll wait for the right man. AND I MEAN IT THIS TIME. :))

So, you're his new girl, right? XD

I won't say anything that would ruin you and Amos. Though Im not saying that I have nothing to say to.. bla bla bla ..nevermind. :3

So, hi! I'm talking to you because I still love Amos :( And I hope that you can take care of him. I really really do. I wish you could give up everything for him. Because that's the thing I didn't do for him :( And he deserves so much better. I WISH YOU'RE BETTER. Just please take care of him, and make him very very happy T_T And don't let him get away from you.

And let him be selfish, and spoil him! He's a kid at heart who thinks he's all grown up, haha. And love him like you've never loved anyone before.

At wag masyado selosa. If there's one thing missing from my relationship with Amos, it's trust. Trust him. From the looks of it, I do believe that he really really loves you. So, you have no reason to doubt him. That's what I learned from breaking up with him: he did love me, above anybody else. But now it's you. And you should not take Amos for granted in any way. Because he's special. He's the most interesting person I know.

He can be a bit controlling at times, but just go with it. Sometimes he'd say that he's just testing you or something :)) Believe it. Believe in him. It will make him happy :3

And make him feel special. Make him feel like he's the most important person in the world.

Don't ever let him go. Make him happier. Appreciate everything he does for you. Don't hurt him. And forgive his temper. Wag ka na makipagsabayan if ever magalit siya. He can do unpredictable things, so beware.

Just, LOVE HIM. ALL THE TIME. MAKE HIM HAPPY. HAPPIER. MAKE HIM SMILE. Pati comfort him pag sad siya. Hug him :( Let him feel your love. <3 Gusto niya yung Make You Feel My Love na song daw. Sing it to him :)) I hated that song :))

TAKE CARE OF HIM.

I just want to make sure that when I let go, Amos is well taken care of.
So, goodluck. AND MAY BOTH OF YOU BE HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY. <3

My unorganized thoughts

Do you know how much I love having my friends? NO YOU DON'T. Because I love them so much that I can't even imagine how super duper messed up my life would be without them.

My life would be more messed up without them.. than without Amos. Amos is just one person. And my friends.. they're the most awesome group of people that I can't live without.

This is a special night. I just remembered how lucky I am to have friends like Ayra, Maykel, Gew, Abby, and Shene. HI GUYS. PLEASE KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH >:D<

This night. I won't let one person ruin my life. I won't let one person depress me into insanity. I won't let these things happen anymore. Because unlike for you, I'm important for some people. They appreciate who I am. And I'm very very stupid to think that you can solely make my life better. Which is not true. Because my friends.. they're the most important people in my life right now. And I don't need you to be a better person, or to have a better life. I will get by. I will get over you. Not tonight, but probably soon. Because this night made me stronger. This night made the whole process a lot faster, and easier.

I lost you. And I have to accept that. And that would probably make me cry for nights. And yes, I will still want you. But now I know that I deserve better. And you don't deserve me. See, we're not meant for each other. And if we were, well then maybe someday we'll meet again.

You've waited four years. Maybe it's my turn to wait?

I have to let you go. I can honestly honestly honestly say that I will let you go. And I promise not to turn around this time.

And I love you. SO MUCH. Always.

Hopelessness is killing meeeeeeeeee.

Just finished watching P.S. I love you. I SHALL NEVER GIVE UP ON LOVE :)) Grabe talaga. No one's too young for love! If it's love, then it is! No matter what your age is, no matter who you are, IT'S WHAT IT IS.

Imma watch Blue Valentine laterrrr :3 Iiyak rin ba ko dun? SANA. :)) I want to be depressed and sad. Hay. I want to be in love again. I feel like I'm missing something. I mean, I'm doing something wrong. OTHER THAN, NOT BEING ABLE TO MOVE ON FROM THAT STUPID STUPID STUPID BOY. It feels like.. I don't know. It's there, but it isn't. NO ONE'S REALLY GETTING THIS, I BET. :))

I WILL SOMEDAY MEET MY FUTURE HUSBAND.

MEMORIES ARE HAUNTING ME

Sorry for this.

Do you know how painful it is to imagine you, holding another hand, kissing another lips, looking through somebody's eyes. Do you know how I could still feel them all, your hands in my hands, your lips on my lips, your eyes staring at my eyes. And the feeling of just being with you. Do you know how excruciatingly vivid my memories of you are? Our last kiss. Our last laugh. Our last fun time together.

I WISH THESE MEMORIES COULD JUST LEAVE ME.

Remember the time I was taking care of you when you were sick. That happened twice actually.

Hmm, now things you did for me. Remember this? Our fake marriage contract? :)) You gave it to me for.. our anniversary or my birthday? I can't remember, I'm sorry :)) And honestly I didn't like it :( I liked the flowers with it, hihi thanks :">

Remember the time I cooked for you, then it failed, but you ate the whole thing :)) You told me it was delicious but it's really not =))))))))))))))))))))) I LOVE THAT MOMENT :)))

Thanks for the lomo cam pala. It's still here. Sorry I don't use it much. Didn't even manage to get the films developes. WHO DEVELOPS 120 FILMS KASI :)) I had an adaptor for it to be 35mm pero NAKAKATAMAD PA DIN SORRY. :)) Someday, when all the film expires :)))))))) HAY MAPADEVELOP NA NGA YUNG MGA FILM :(

I just wish I could make you feel my love everyday. I don't want all of these to come to waste. I wish I could just stop feeling these feelings. Can I just be numb instead, please God? :( Pero.. I will not feel happiness, so wag na lng pala. Remove pain na lang please :3

You know what, I love you. I don't know until when, but today it feels like I'll be stuck on you forever. And if you don't appreciate what I feel, then okay. I'll try my hardest to accept that, and the fact that I missed my chance and now you don't care about me at all.

I just wish you were right. I wish everything you told me was true. I wish when you told me that you died already, YOU REALLY DID DIE.

Oh, how I wish you're happy.

ALAM MO NAWALA NA KO SA MOMENT. NAAASAR AKO E. ANG TANGA.May autonomous status pang nalalaman ang UST. ANO BA, IGOOGLE NYO MUNA MEANING NUNG AUTONOMOUS STATUS PLEASE. AT MALACANANG NA NAG ANNOUNE, TINATALO NYO PA.

Joseph Guillermo - Magkaiba ang Autonomous sa Sovereign. Unless bansa na pala ang UST.

----YAN I LOVE THAT PERSON.

I feel like dancing

500 Days of Summer talaga e. IT ALWAYS REMINDS ME TO BELIEVE IN DESTINY. If it's meant to happen, it will happen. And if he doesn't come back, then there's the answer to my questions.

Why let the past and future control my now? I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHY BUT I'M LETTING IT.

Do you know what sucks? That I remember EVERYTHING. But what's good about that is.. I remember every lesson. I've learned so many things in my years with him. Now I know what and what not to do, what's right and what's wrong. It just sucks that I have to give him up to learn all these lessons. But as they say, pain is the best teacher. We all have to experience pain to truly learn the most important lessons in life.

I'm going to take care of myself and not let anyone control me. But the guidance said that I'm a super tolerant woman. I let people control me. I don't want to lead people but I want them to lead me. And it's true. So, I will let people control me, but I shall choose who, who to give control of my life. Definitely not Amos. :)) I shall let Sandwich control my life. HIS CUTENESS, SO POWERFUL.

I just want to delete these memories please. Just the lessons. Leave the lessons.

Sabi ni Megan Fox.. The more you show a person you can't live without them, you are giving more reasons for them to take you for granted. So that made me want to stop talking to Amos. Thank you Megan Fox for snapping the shit out of me. :))

I realized that I'm just punishing myself everytime I think about Amos. I won't let Amos affect me again. HOPEFULLY.

I want Megan Fox's line tattooed on my arm, please? :))

It's time to die.

Wanted: Someone Better

I am torturing myself. I keep on thinking about him. I wish I'm always with my friends, they're always there to remind me that Amos doesn't deserve me, and I'm better of without him. Thank you friends so much >:D<

Later, while I'll be on my way to school, I'll be listening to Christina Perri, Adele, Mumford and Sons, Cat Power, Regina Spektor, and other artists who sing sad songs. :)) I WILL HAVE MY SLOW MOTION MOMENT LATERR. Because I am sad and alone. SANA HINDI ABSENT SI SHENE AT MAYA LATER. I DON'T WANT TO BE SADDER :((

I wish Amos is really in love with that.. PERSON. I wish it's not like a relationship rebound or something. Because if it is, then he wouldn't be really be happy. Then this pain would be for nothing. I will accept this pain because this is what he wants. I mean, this is what's supposed to happen. I don't really want to be someone who'd ruin true love. I wish that's true love. It's like.. sacrificing myself :)) Now, that's true love.

I shall be happy alone. I shall be prepared for the next man. SOMEDAY. SOMEDAY I WILL GET OVER AMOS AND BE HAPPY. JUST LIKE HOW I GOT OVER MY EX BEFORE AMOS. To be honest, I got over that certain ex because I got together with Amos. So, prang rebound ko si Amos. So, THIS ISN'T TRUE LOVE?!?!!??!?! I WISH.

IF IT'S MEANT TO HAPPEN, IT WILL HAPPEN. I shall remember that, always. I should repeat that in my head over and over and over again. Just to remind myself, THAT THERE IS SOMEONE BETTER FOR ME, OUT THERE.

But for now, I WILL MOVE ON. THEN I'LL BE HAPPY. THEN, I'LL FALL IN LOVE AGAIN WHEN I'M READY.

Teach me how to let go, please.

Today I did what I always do: surf the net FOREVER. I stayed on facebook, twitter, stumble upon, 9gag, and 8tracks. That kept me busy from looking at my cellphone all day, waiting for his text.. and it kept me happy. Well that's depressing isn't it? :))

For the past few days I chose to think about Amos and be sad all over. I listened to very sad songs and I walked slowly and grasped every word in every song's lyrics, hahahaha. I want my moment, guys. It's my moment of grief, don't judge me =))

I downloaded 30 sad songs today :)) For my future slow motion walking moments.

I talked to Amos earlier. I got rejected. It was painful. Maybe he's happy with his life now? Maybe. Probably not. I know him somehow.

So, I'm still depressed. But at least I feel better than earlier today. I don't feel like dying. I feel like.. living. I feel like finding that future boyfriend and flirt with him like there's no tomorrow. Sana he ********* skittles :)))))))) *Dont count the asterisks :))

But I'm a moody person. Maybe tomorrow morning I'll be listening to those sad songs again and cry about it. Then I'd want to kill myself again :)) NO, I WON'T KILL MYSELF. EVER. Too scared of hell.

Amos rejected me. I did so many things to get his approval and this is what I get, rejection madness. I tried being what he wants me to be, because I really want him to come back to me. Be mine again. But no. Apparently, my efforts aren't enough. He told me he doesn't love me anymore, like a hundred times already, while me.. I felt pathetic when I was telling him I love him anyway. Because it's true. I love him. I love him more than anything, than anyone. Even when he stopped loving me. Even when he found another girl.

As you may have noticed, I have issues. It's hard for me to let go of anything, especially the most important person in my life. I think about him everyday. I talk to him as much as my pride lets me.

I should be happy for him. But, no.. I won't lie to myself anymore. I will get hurt and I will accept it. I will deal with it. I will not ignore it.

If only I know how to let go of things.

Everybody has his/her sad story. I'm just experiencing mine, today.

LRT

Ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit ako nandirito:
Kung di kita nakilala, di sana ako nabuhay;
Kung ako'y mamamatay nang di kita nakilala,
Hindi ako mamamatay dahil hindi ako nabuhay

Pointless.

I'm tired of everything that's happening. I don't want to do anything anymore. I don't want to do these routines anymore. I'm tired of everything. I want to just give up on life and do what I want to do without worrying about school, lovelife, money, or the future. Wouldn't that be fun? I wouldn't say my life would be pointless if that ever happens. Remember that I'll be doing what I want, what I love to do. Why can't life just be as simple as that? No responsibilities. No anything. Just you.

Ah, what a selfish thing to be thinking about.

I'M JUST TIRED OF EVERYTHING. It's like the events in my life are on repeat.

I know this is very very stupid, but.. This is all about Amos. I BET YOU SAW THAT COMING :)) I am clueless. I'm confused on what to do. YOU HAVE NO IDEA.. NO IDEA.. on the things we went through, together. And apparently, NO ONE KNOWS how much I love Amos. I TRIED TO MOVE ON AS HARD AS I COULD. I REALLY DID. Did. I stopped moving on. Because I know deep within myself that I'm kidding myself. I don't want this. I don't want any of these if Amos won't be a part of it. Yes, I am very very stupid to be controlled by the things he wants, BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA, OKAY? You don't know how much I am willing to give up just for him. Tell you, I'd give up anything, everything.

What a stupid way to be in love.

I just want him back, please. God.

For now, I don't want to do anything. I'm tired of trying to be happy for him. I'm tired of lying to myself. AND FOR WHAT I HONESTLY FEEL, I feel like my life's pointless without him.

AND I SUCK FOR THESE FEELINGS.

But what do I care about what's right or wrong now.

This is what I feel. There's no right or wrong there. It's just what it is.

Help.

It's so hard to be in a situation where no one understands what I'm going through. Even I can't understand myself.

My body's like cut in half. Half of it wants to just let Amos go and be happy for him. Let them build their dreams. Let him replace me. Or not? Well, that's what I feel right now REPLACED. Maybe I'm not good enough for the girlfriend spot. Or maybe I'm too good for that spot. Probably not the latter.

The other half of my body just remembers everything about him, our good and bad days. Like, I want him back. I want to make him feel that I love him. I want to feel his hugs again. Nothing can ever make me feel more protected than that hug. I just miss him. I miss everything about him. And until now, I'm still wondering why these things happen to me. WHY?! I loved him more than myself. I did almost everything for him, I gave up my friends, I gave up too many opportunities just to be with him for a while. I just want to be with him, as ANYONE, as ANYTHING. Just to be with him. God, I miss him.

It's like choosing to be tired of the pain or to just love.

Life sucks.

I was stalking him online, right.. while I was reading their conversations, I realized that what he's saying was what he EXACTLY told me years ago. It's like he's repeating EVERYTHING. I felt like a lab rat or something, I felt like I was used or tested, like a part of a training ground or something.. "How to break a girl's heart".

No one can imagine how painful this is, okay? It doesn't make me feel better when you make fun of the things that I feel. Because this is true, this is painful and it's killing me. I don't know what to do with my life anymore. Sometimes I feel like giving up on everything. Because I failed the easiest thing for me to do: to love the person I want to be with for the rest of my life. I didn't even get that right. What's wrong with me?

Is it wrong for me to feel grief after all these time? Is this wrong? Tell me, please. Because I really don't know what to do, or what to be anymore.

What?

What is this. I'm in this position yet again. But at least now, the worst thing I can think of is to learn how to smoke. And... Imma try that later :3

I wish I could rewind everything. I wish everything would just be okay and back to normal.

I remember you forcing me to choose between my friends or you. What an ass.

Stop lying.

I don't want to lie to myself anymore. I really do love him, and I'm still madly in love with him. And it hurts. It hurts to be left alone, clueless and still in love. I did not choose this.

I wish we're still together. Or.. I wish my future husband would be with me sooner. o_o

Do you know what I really think? I think I'll get over him as soon as the next guy comes in. Now when would that be? SOONER PLEASE :(

I am not who people see as a beautiful person, so I don't know why guys would choose me anyway. That makes me sad a bit. :))

I wish the person I like right now would just tell me he likes me, then we'll start on our movie-worthy love story.

Alam niyo ba. I texted Amos earlier. I texted him so many things, so many dramatic things to be exact. I got disappointed with myself but at the same time, I really wanted him to know those things.

When we were together, his password's Lovekodikko@06, JUST SAYING. :))

It's not that I can't give him up, it's that i chose not to. Because we were happy, at least that's what I think we were feeling then. And we went through big things you can't imagine.

Maybe if I was already with a new guy, Amos would get jelly and tell me everything, what he really feels. Because I really don't believe everything that's happening. I mean, who would be in love with that girl? JOKE. THAT'S MY BITTER SIDE BTW =)))))))))))))))

Why I don't believe him: I still live in the past. I can still remember everything he told me. He loves me. Maybe, he loved me.

I'm really sorry for what I made him go through. I wish our paths didn't cross like, 6 or 7 years ago.

I wish I didn't just fall in love with you. I wish you could just be happy while not hurting me.

What is this shit. Imma go. Bye.

Maybe.

As you all know, I'm still not over my ex but I'm almost there :)

So he has this girlfriend, right? And I pity this girlfriend kasi wala siyang clue about who Amos is, and what Amos is capable of doing. From my experience, he can be the sweetest person, but he can also be the worst boyfriend ever. And for the latter part, I know something that can prove that 100%. If you people would know what that is, it will blow your mind, I think.

Being with him for almost 2 years, I have discovered that he can't control his temper, and he's very unpredictable. Maybe I have no right for saying these things, but man, I do.

Maybe Amos just fell out of love months ago, and maybe he loves this new girlfriend very much, but we can't surely say that he'd not just fall out of love again, right?

I really don't want to deny it even to myself, so I'm just going to be honest here. Amos is still the person I really want to be with all of the time for the rest of my life. I still wish for him everytime I have an opportunity to wish for something. And it hurts, it really hurts to know that I was the only one being serious in our relationship then. It's not about what's right and wrong e, it's about the fact that I have accepted and loved him whole-heartedly, and I've already set my mind up that he's the one for me. He's the only one for me.

Maybe someday I'd be reading this entry and I'd be laughing at myself. Maybe my future husband's already searching for me. Maybe I have already met my future husband, but my heart's still broken to accept anyone in. Maybe.

God, it hurts. If I could really just control the world right now, I'd be with him and there would be world peace.

What's happening right now is really just stupid. Really really stupid that I pity myself that I'm in this situation right now.

Why can't I just accept it and move on?!

Wasted time.

Somewhere, someone is searching for someone like me. And can't wait to meet him/her. HOPEFULLY HE'S A HE, NOT A SHE. PLEASE. :)

I felt a lot better when Amos talked to me. Though our conversations were really short, pointless and stupid, it really made my day. But at least, I did not let my cant-move-on-self be stupid and careless about where I stand. I will move on SOON and that's final. KAHIT ANO PANG SABIHIN NIYA :)

ENOUGH ABOUT LOVELIFE PLEASE. Today I have discovered something about myself: that I can't really do long distance relationships, NOT AT ALL. Being in a different environment means being in a different state of mind. Personalities are bound to change and it's very uncomfortable to be with him/her again, well, at least it is for me. I wish everyone would just stay close to me. I want everyone to be a part of my everyday life and I want to know them more and more, because people are very interesting and I love them :)) :3

So I saw this little kitty earlier, SO CUUUUTE :3 But it's dirty and wet :( I really wanted to adopt him/her but I don't know how to take care of a cat :( Sooner or later that kitty will die and I will be sad and depressed. And to make myself feel better, I'll just imagine that kitty being in the kitty heaven with God, SO CUTE HEAVEN. :3

If ever I'd be allowed to enter heaven, I wish Sandwich would be there with me. My sister told me that animals don't have souls therefore they can't enter our heaven. It really made me sad but then I imagined doggy heaven, SO CUTE :3

I wish I have a life :)) I mean, a more meaningful life. Look at me blogging stupid thoughts, LIKE WHO WOULD CARE TO READ THIS. :)) I wish I already knew why I am still living, the meaning of my life, its purpose. I want to just do it and get it over with then die, then know if I'd go to heaven or hell.

The image of hell's torturing my mind but I can't stop being naughty :)))))))))))))))))) WELL THAT SOUNDED DIRTY I'M SORRY. :))))))))))))))

STOP READING MY BLOG, ITS POINTLESS AND YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME, SORRY.

It's really a waste of time to think about the past. Live now, and appreciate what you have.

I hate people who don't appreciate the people that loves them! Those users, douchebags, assholes, scambags, jerkoffs, i hate them. (Terms taken from Kanye West's song Runaway)

I just wish that people would just love one another then make life more simple. SAY NO TO DIVORCE PLEASE, LOVE YOUR WIFE/HUSBAND. DON'T MARRY ANYONE IF YOU'RE NOT 50000000000000000% SURE, PLEASE.

If divorce would be legalized, then people wouldn't take marriage seriously, because they can easily break their marriage. IF YOU'RE GOING TO BREAK THE MARRIAGE, WHY GET MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?! AND THINK ABOUT THE KIDS PLEASE.

No, my parents are not going to be separated or anything, BUT PLEASE. THIS DIVORCE THING, SO NOT WORTH THE GOVERNMENT'S TIME. Is this another corruption idea??!?!?!?!?! ONE WAY OR ANOTHER I KNOW PEOPLE WILL GET MONEY FROM THIS. STUPID CORRUPTS, WANT TO CUT THEIR HANDS PLEASE. :-L

STUPID BLOG I KNOW, IM SORRY BUT THOSE ARE MY THOUGHTS =))))))))))) KBYE :*

Sana hindi na lang na imbento ang lovelife :(

Someone told me that a break up is not really about who's losing or winning. I'm not really tallying points or something, but I do know that I'm losing, and it feels bad to lose. It feels bad that I've already been replaced, while I'm still being a sad bitch because of him. I think I'm better off "losing" because if I would've gotten into a new relationship as soon as he did, it wouldn't feel right. I still have feelings for him, so I shall move on properly, and then go to the next guy.

Another someone told me that his new relationship's just a rebound or somewhere near like rebound. Well, I wouldn't believe that because I don't think that he's the kind of person that would do that. But see, he's not the person that I thought he is. After the break up, I really didn't know who he was anymore. So, I really don't know what to believe. But it doesn't matter, really. It's not my business anymore.

Because of this break up, I really appreciated my friends. SMSg. I couldn't live without them. And my college friends too, the sabaw moments everyday are keeping me alive =)) I wish I could just make them my lovelife :)) Sana hindi na lang na imbento ang lovelife :(

Without my break up problem, I would really be very very happy right now.

Sorry for talking too much. It's who I am. :( :))

Well that didn't end well.

Kaasar. Punong puno ng BOYFRIEND tong blog na to. OH WELL. :))

I just need something or someone to let these thoughts and/or feelings out of my system.

If I'm still the person who posted my previous blogs, well I should be very happy right now because Amos and I are over. Now you may wonder, why? JOKE. I BET NO ONE'S WONDERING WHY. WE'RE BOUND TO BREAK UP. Our relationship was obviously dysfunctional.

Last Monday, while I was stalking him and his lovelife, I found out that he has a girlfriend. Maybe it's practical and excusable because technically, we have been separated since November 2010: 8 months. But in my excuse for not being over him UNTIL NOW, ANONG PETSA NA BTW, we still went out 'til mid February or March, I think? He'd sometimes tell me that he doesn't love me anymore, but I wouldn't believe him because we were still together and were still having fun. I chose to believe that there's nothing wrong. Although I have accepted the fact that I was fooling myself, and that what was happening then was going nowhere but downhill.

It's a stupid thing to think about the past and be all depressed about it, but I can't help it. I can't think of anything but the past, and the what-could-have-beens. I think that's a fairly reasonable thing to do since we had been together for 2 years, and I have already chosen him to be the person to be with for the rest of my life. I was wishing that he'd been thinking the same thing all along, BUT I GUESS I WAS WRONG.

We were happy, we were in love, why couldn't that just be enough for us to be together, FOREVER. He chose me, I chose him, why does the world have to make it complicated. It's as simple as it is.

I HAVE SO MANY WHY QUESTIONS. WHY.

Well, maybe there's something or someone better for me. Maybe I'm meant to live with dogs, and dogs alone =)) I WON'T REALLY KILL MYSELF IF THAT EVER IS TRUE BECAUSE DOGS ARE THE SHIT, THEY'RE THE BEST PET EVER AND THEY ARE FREAKING ADORABLE, EVEN THE PITBULLS. HEHE :)

I wish I could've gotten the clues that this wouldn't last soon enough that you could have not hurt me.



VISIT http://www.paradigma.ru/wonderland/ IT IS AWESOME