Do you know why I miss you? It's because when we were still together, I live in this imaginary world where nothing matters but you. Well, that was true until my friends slowly brought me to the real world. My friends, are the best things that ever happened to me. They tell me what I need to hear: the truth. AND YEP, TRUTH HURTS.
Maybe God's trying to tell me to snap out of that imaginary world. Maybe God's trying to tell me that it's time to face the truth: that Amos.. and my lovelife are not the only things important in my life. And that, at this age, it should be.. NOT my problem.
Oh well, at least, I've had my fair share of experience. And these are what I have learned from them:
From my first relationship: a person can leave you.. JUST BECAUSE.
From my second relationship: a person can use you. And that, I should not trust anyone easily. I should really be sure of what more there is for me. And that, I am important, too. Not just him.
From my third and, currently last relationship: A person can and will change. And I should be ready for that. Also that, I should learn how to balance my life. It's not all about love. It's about self-improvement, too.. And lots of other things. I must choose a partner who can help me be a better person, and hopefully, I can help him be better too. Hmm. I must love myself first, before loving anyone else. And I should be cautious.. hopefully NOT TOO MUCH, but.. cautious enough to see if he's not right for me. Hmm. I've learned that there should be trust in a relationship, and it's one of the most important thing. Hmm. There are still so many lessons to be written in this list, but.. I'm just, too tired to state it all. I'm sorry. But I think, what I mentioned above were the ones that are the most important of them all.
I should be happy. I deserve to be happy. I love myself for who I am, but the idea for not living for anyone.. it's making me sad. I mean. I want to live for someone. I want to make my life sensible. I want to just give up myself for someone. I think, that's what I'm best at: loving someone. Or maybe that's Algebra? I DON'T KNOW :(
I don't know. I just feel like, if ever I'd love someone.. i.e., you.. then expect me to never ever leave your side. Because I know how it feels to be left by a person you depend on the most. I don't want anyone to feel this kind of feeling. It's the most painful thing I've ever felt. I will never leave people that I love. But if I did, then there must be a very very very very deep reason why. So, what I'm saying is, for the next guy.. YOU CAN TRUST ME. I will stay with you as long as I can. I will love you as much as I can possibly love someone.
So. I will never stop searching and/or waiting for the guy who's worthy of me. If love can wait, then I can wait for love.
See? I love myself.
Maybe God's trying to tell me to snap out of that imaginary world. Maybe God's trying to tell me that it's time to face the truth: that Amos.. and my lovelife are not the only things important in my life. And that, at this age, it should be.. NOT my problem.
Oh well, at least, I've had my fair share of experience. And these are what I have learned from them:
From my first relationship: a person can leave you.. JUST BECAUSE.
From my second relationship: a person can use you. And that, I should not trust anyone easily. I should really be sure of what more there is for me. And that, I am important, too. Not just him.
From my third and, currently last relationship: A person can and will change. And I should be ready for that. Also that, I should learn how to balance my life. It's not all about love. It's about self-improvement, too.. And lots of other things. I must choose a partner who can help me be a better person, and hopefully, I can help him be better too. Hmm. I must love myself first, before loving anyone else. And I should be cautious.. hopefully NOT TOO MUCH, but.. cautious enough to see if he's not right for me. Hmm. I've learned that there should be trust in a relationship, and it's one of the most important thing. Hmm. There are still so many lessons to be written in this list, but.. I'm just, too tired to state it all. I'm sorry. But I think, what I mentioned above were the ones that are the most important of them all.
I should be happy. I deserve to be happy. I love myself for who I am, but the idea for not living for anyone.. it's making me sad. I mean. I want to live for someone. I want to make my life sensible. I want to just give up myself for someone. I think, that's what I'm best at: loving someone. Or maybe that's Algebra? I DON'T KNOW :(
I don't know. I just feel like, if ever I'd love someone.. i.e., you.. then expect me to never ever leave your side. Because I know how it feels to be left by a person you depend on the most. I don't want anyone to feel this kind of feeling. It's the most painful thing I've ever felt. I will never leave people that I love. But if I did, then there must be a very very very very deep reason why. So, what I'm saying is, for the next guy.. YOU CAN TRUST ME. I will stay with you as long as I can. I will love you as much as I can possibly love someone.
So. I will never stop searching and/or waiting for the guy who's worthy of me. If love can wait, then I can wait for love.
See? I love myself.
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