It's not love that upsets me everyday, it's how the world works. It's how unfair the world is. It starts with love, but it ends in a whole different thing, my thoughts I mean.
As we all know I still can't get over that cute man :( And I have no choice but to move on and to continue living this life. That is because I am a girl, and I'm not suppose to chase him. I want to win him back again, but I can't because it's not the right thing to do. Plus I'd look desperate and pathetic, which I am not. I just don't want to give up on us, yet. I still believe that it's true love. I just don't know what happened. What happened? WHO HAPPENED?
Now, I have to find or wait or whatever for the next guy, who should be worthy of me and my love. And to find that right guy, I need to look pretty. I mean, looks will probably be the first thing to matter in finding the right guy, yes? Or no? Maybe I'm stupid. SORRY. But that's how I see the world. And most probably, it's how most of us see it.
So, I have to look pretty, which is a bit challenging for me because.. I'm not pretty :< Well, at least by our national standard of prettiness, which is.. light-skinned, flawless, soft hair, sexy (meaning great ass and boobs), and.. I don't know.. international-looking? :))) We all have our different standards of beauty, yes. But, those are, I think, the most common description of a pretty person in the Philippines. Now, let us compare. Nope, I'm not light skinned, I'm not flawless, I have a very dry hair, I look like a stick, and I do not look like I came from another country. So, that's a big NO. :)) I'm not ugly though. I mean, AT LEAST FOR ME. Everyone has a standard on ugliness too, right? I don't think I'm THAT ugly :< I'm cute, SOMETIMES :)))))))))))))
So, looks to get someone's attention.. FAIL. :))
It's not that I think looks are very important, and so does the next guy for me. But, it's the first step to get someone's attention. I don't want the next guy to like me because of my looks, it's just.. HOW WOULD I GET HIS ATTENTION IF I'M UGLY. Okay, do you understand now? Because I'm already hearing future comments in my head, so I'm defending myself as early as now. :))
Now, personality. I don't know. I think I'm kind of.. a good person. But, not so much that I'm like Mother Teresa something. But I make sure, that my intentions are good, and I'm always in the right place. I always make sure that I'm hurting no one. And at times, when I'd realize that what I am doing is wrong, I put an end to it immediately. And I do all of these not because I'd like people to approve of me, but because it's the right thing to do.
They say I have this strong personality. Is that good or bad? I have no idea. I'm loud. I'm annoying at times. I'm moody. and I'm emo. So, I'm probably not in anyone's wishlist right now =)))) But I can make sure that I will love the next guy as much as I can. :B
So, probably no one wants me. I WILL DIE ALONE GUYS. :)) But I won't give up on love. NEVER. That is a promise.
With my looks and personality, I probably won't find the next guy soon. See how the world sucks? I don't want to try to look pretty just to catch someone's attention, and I don't want to be someone I'm not, just to satisfy anyone.
Well, at least I won't find the wrong guys. I mean, I won't find anyone who will like me just because of my looks, because I have no looks. And I won't find anyone who will like me because I'm super kind, and angelic.. because I'm not. ACCEPT MY FLAWS. DEAL WITH IT. At least, when someone would like me, he would've accepted everything that I am. A reason why the world doesn't suck THAT much.
It still sucks, though. Why can't I do what I want to do without looking pathetic? I also can't be the one who'd make things happen for a relationship to start. It's like, I don't get to choose, I get chosen. What if I want to choose? And I want to prove to the person I chose that I deserve him? Can I court him? Of course, I can't. Because it's wrong, and I will look desperate. Which, AGAIN, is not true.
The world sucks. Why do I have to live this kind of life? When will my life be sensible again? Probably when I choose to make a sense of it? :)) My questions are easily answered but the answers are difficult to execute. :<
It upsets me everyday, that I can't make a sense of everything. We'll all die someday, and after that.. when will everyone go? Will all of us be ghosts? Just ghosts of the past? I'll probably be a ghost because I can't easily let go of the past :< Maybe someday I'll get to learn how to do that. MAYBE :B
IT'S HOW THE WORLD WORKS. Why can't I just live 2000 years ago when living life is simple. Why do I have to worry about Love, and being alone? Can't I just marry all my friends? :< Why are we all being pressured to find the right one. And why would people let them go when they've found them? Why give up? You've been searching for the right one your whole life, and now that he or she is here, you're letting him/her go? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAAAAAAT?
I wish people would just find their partner, be faithful to them, marry them, have kids, then just die.
And don't get me started on the point of money. I wish people would just live equally. GRABE.
WHY ARE WE DOING THESE. Why can't we just make life less complicated? Stay good and then go to heaven. As simple as that.
SO MY MIND'S TWISTED? :)) I over analyze things :(
As we all know I still can't get over that cute man :( And I have no choice but to move on and to continue living this life. That is because I am a girl, and I'm not suppose to chase him. I want to win him back again, but I can't because it's not the right thing to do. Plus I'd look desperate and pathetic, which I am not. I just don't want to give up on us, yet. I still believe that it's true love. I just don't know what happened. What happened? WHO HAPPENED?
Now, I have to find or wait or whatever for the next guy, who should be worthy of me and my love. And to find that right guy, I need to look pretty. I mean, looks will probably be the first thing to matter in finding the right guy, yes? Or no? Maybe I'm stupid. SORRY. But that's how I see the world. And most probably, it's how most of us see it.
So, I have to look pretty, which is a bit challenging for me because.. I'm not pretty :< Well, at least by our national standard of prettiness, which is.. light-skinned, flawless, soft hair, sexy (meaning great ass and boobs), and.. I don't know.. international-looking? :))) We all have our different standards of beauty, yes. But, those are, I think, the most common description of a pretty person in the Philippines. Now, let us compare. Nope, I'm not light skinned, I'm not flawless, I have a very dry hair, I look like a stick, and I do not look like I came from another country. So, that's a big NO. :)) I'm not ugly though. I mean, AT LEAST FOR ME. Everyone has a standard on ugliness too, right? I don't think I'm THAT ugly :< I'm cute, SOMETIMES :)))))))))))))
So, looks to get someone's attention.. FAIL. :))
It's not that I think looks are very important, and so does the next guy for me. But, it's the first step to get someone's attention. I don't want the next guy to like me because of my looks, it's just.. HOW WOULD I GET HIS ATTENTION IF I'M UGLY. Okay, do you understand now? Because I'm already hearing future comments in my head, so I'm defending myself as early as now. :))
Now, personality. I don't know. I think I'm kind of.. a good person. But, not so much that I'm like Mother Teresa something. But I make sure, that my intentions are good, and I'm always in the right place. I always make sure that I'm hurting no one. And at times, when I'd realize that what I am doing is wrong, I put an end to it immediately. And I do all of these not because I'd like people to approve of me, but because it's the right thing to do.
They say I have this strong personality. Is that good or bad? I have no idea. I'm loud. I'm annoying at times. I'm moody. and I'm emo. So, I'm probably not in anyone's wishlist right now =)))) But I can make sure that I will love the next guy as much as I can. :B
So, probably no one wants me. I WILL DIE ALONE GUYS. :)) But I won't give up on love. NEVER. That is a promise.
With my looks and personality, I probably won't find the next guy soon. See how the world sucks? I don't want to try to look pretty just to catch someone's attention, and I don't want to be someone I'm not, just to satisfy anyone.
Well, at least I won't find the wrong guys. I mean, I won't find anyone who will like me just because of my looks, because I have no looks. And I won't find anyone who will like me because I'm super kind, and angelic.. because I'm not. ACCEPT MY FLAWS. DEAL WITH IT. At least, when someone would like me, he would've accepted everything that I am. A reason why the world doesn't suck THAT much.
It still sucks, though. Why can't I do what I want to do without looking pathetic? I also can't be the one who'd make things happen for a relationship to start. It's like, I don't get to choose, I get chosen. What if I want to choose? And I want to prove to the person I chose that I deserve him? Can I court him? Of course, I can't. Because it's wrong, and I will look desperate. Which, AGAIN, is not true.
The world sucks. Why do I have to live this kind of life? When will my life be sensible again? Probably when I choose to make a sense of it? :)) My questions are easily answered but the answers are difficult to execute. :<
It upsets me everyday, that I can't make a sense of everything. We'll all die someday, and after that.. when will everyone go? Will all of us be ghosts? Just ghosts of the past? I'll probably be a ghost because I can't easily let go of the past :< Maybe someday I'll get to learn how to do that. MAYBE :B
IT'S HOW THE WORLD WORKS. Why can't I just live 2000 years ago when living life is simple. Why do I have to worry about Love, and being alone? Can't I just marry all my friends? :< Why are we all being pressured to find the right one. And why would people let them go when they've found them? Why give up? You've been searching for the right one your whole life, and now that he or she is here, you're letting him/her go? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAAAAAAT?
I wish people would just find their partner, be faithful to them, marry them, have kids, then just die.
And don't get me started on the point of money. I wish people would just live equally. GRABE.
WHY ARE WE DOING THESE. Why can't we just make life less complicated? Stay good and then go to heaven. As simple as that.
SO MY MIND'S TWISTED? :)) I over analyze things :(
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