What?

What is this. I'm in this position yet again. But at least now, the worst thing I can think of is to learn how to smoke. And... Imma try that later :3

I wish I could rewind everything. I wish everything would just be okay and back to normal.

I remember you forcing me to choose between my friends or you. What an ass.

Stop lying.

I don't want to lie to myself anymore. I really do love him, and I'm still madly in love with him. And it hurts. It hurts to be left alone, clueless and still in love. I did not choose this.

I wish we're still together. Or.. I wish my future husband would be with me sooner. o_o

Do you know what I really think? I think I'll get over him as soon as the next guy comes in. Now when would that be? SOONER PLEASE :(

I am not who people see as a beautiful person, so I don't know why guys would choose me anyway. That makes me sad a bit. :))

I wish the person I like right now would just tell me he likes me, then we'll start on our movie-worthy love story.

Alam niyo ba. I texted Amos earlier. I texted him so many things, so many dramatic things to be exact. I got disappointed with myself but at the same time, I really wanted him to know those things.

When we were together, his password's Lovekodikko@06, JUST SAYING. :))

It's not that I can't give him up, it's that i chose not to. Because we were happy, at least that's what I think we were feeling then. And we went through big things you can't imagine.

Maybe if I was already with a new guy, Amos would get jelly and tell me everything, what he really feels. Because I really don't believe everything that's happening. I mean, who would be in love with that girl? JOKE. THAT'S MY BITTER SIDE BTW =)))))))))))))))

Why I don't believe him: I still live in the past. I can still remember everything he told me. He loves me. Maybe, he loved me.

I'm really sorry for what I made him go through. I wish our paths didn't cross like, 6 or 7 years ago.

I wish I didn't just fall in love with you. I wish you could just be happy while not hurting me.

What is this shit. Imma go. Bye.

Maybe.

As you all know, I'm still not over my ex but I'm almost there :)

So he has this girlfriend, right? And I pity this girlfriend kasi wala siyang clue about who Amos is, and what Amos is capable of doing. From my experience, he can be the sweetest person, but he can also be the worst boyfriend ever. And for the latter part, I know something that can prove that 100%. If you people would know what that is, it will blow your mind, I think.

Being with him for almost 2 years, I have discovered that he can't control his temper, and he's very unpredictable. Maybe I have no right for saying these things, but man, I do.

Maybe Amos just fell out of love months ago, and maybe he loves this new girlfriend very much, but we can't surely say that he'd not just fall out of love again, right?

I really don't want to deny it even to myself, so I'm just going to be honest here. Amos is still the person I really want to be with all of the time for the rest of my life. I still wish for him everytime I have an opportunity to wish for something. And it hurts, it really hurts to know that I was the only one being serious in our relationship then. It's not about what's right and wrong e, it's about the fact that I have accepted and loved him whole-heartedly, and I've already set my mind up that he's the one for me. He's the only one for me.

Maybe someday I'd be reading this entry and I'd be laughing at myself. Maybe my future husband's already searching for me. Maybe I have already met my future husband, but my heart's still broken to accept anyone in. Maybe.

God, it hurts. If I could really just control the world right now, I'd be with him and there would be world peace.

What's happening right now is really just stupid. Really really stupid that I pity myself that I'm in this situation right now.

Why can't I just accept it and move on?!

Wasted time.

Somewhere, someone is searching for someone like me. And can't wait to meet him/her. HOPEFULLY HE'S A HE, NOT A SHE. PLEASE. :)

I felt a lot better when Amos talked to me. Though our conversations were really short, pointless and stupid, it really made my day. But at least, I did not let my cant-move-on-self be stupid and careless about where I stand. I will move on SOON and that's final. KAHIT ANO PANG SABIHIN NIYA :)

ENOUGH ABOUT LOVELIFE PLEASE. Today I have discovered something about myself: that I can't really do long distance relationships, NOT AT ALL. Being in a different environment means being in a different state of mind. Personalities are bound to change and it's very uncomfortable to be with him/her again, well, at least it is for me. I wish everyone would just stay close to me. I want everyone to be a part of my everyday life and I want to know them more and more, because people are very interesting and I love them :)) :3

So I saw this little kitty earlier, SO CUUUUTE :3 But it's dirty and wet :( I really wanted to adopt him/her but I don't know how to take care of a cat :( Sooner or later that kitty will die and I will be sad and depressed. And to make myself feel better, I'll just imagine that kitty being in the kitty heaven with God, SO CUTE HEAVEN. :3

If ever I'd be allowed to enter heaven, I wish Sandwich would be there with me. My sister told me that animals don't have souls therefore they can't enter our heaven. It really made me sad but then I imagined doggy heaven, SO CUTE :3

I wish I have a life :)) I mean, a more meaningful life. Look at me blogging stupid thoughts, LIKE WHO WOULD CARE TO READ THIS. :)) I wish I already knew why I am still living, the meaning of my life, its purpose. I want to just do it and get it over with then die, then know if I'd go to heaven or hell.

The image of hell's torturing my mind but I can't stop being naughty :)))))))))))))))))) WELL THAT SOUNDED DIRTY I'M SORRY. :))))))))))))))

STOP READING MY BLOG, ITS POINTLESS AND YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME, SORRY.

It's really a waste of time to think about the past. Live now, and appreciate what you have.

I hate people who don't appreciate the people that loves them! Those users, douchebags, assholes, scambags, jerkoffs, i hate them. (Terms taken from Kanye West's song Runaway)

I just wish that people would just love one another then make life more simple. SAY NO TO DIVORCE PLEASE, LOVE YOUR WIFE/HUSBAND. DON'T MARRY ANYONE IF YOU'RE NOT 50000000000000000% SURE, PLEASE.

If divorce would be legalized, then people wouldn't take marriage seriously, because they can easily break their marriage. IF YOU'RE GOING TO BREAK THE MARRIAGE, WHY GET MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?! AND THINK ABOUT THE KIDS PLEASE.

No, my parents are not going to be separated or anything, BUT PLEASE. THIS DIVORCE THING, SO NOT WORTH THE GOVERNMENT'S TIME. Is this another corruption idea??!?!?!?!?! ONE WAY OR ANOTHER I KNOW PEOPLE WILL GET MONEY FROM THIS. STUPID CORRUPTS, WANT TO CUT THEIR HANDS PLEASE. :-L

STUPID BLOG I KNOW, IM SORRY BUT THOSE ARE MY THOUGHTS =))))))))))) KBYE :*

Sana hindi na lang na imbento ang lovelife :(

Someone told me that a break up is not really about who's losing or winning. I'm not really tallying points or something, but I do know that I'm losing, and it feels bad to lose. It feels bad that I've already been replaced, while I'm still being a sad bitch because of him. I think I'm better off "losing" because if I would've gotten into a new relationship as soon as he did, it wouldn't feel right. I still have feelings for him, so I shall move on properly, and then go to the next guy.

Another someone told me that his new relationship's just a rebound or somewhere near like rebound. Well, I wouldn't believe that because I don't think that he's the kind of person that would do that. But see, he's not the person that I thought he is. After the break up, I really didn't know who he was anymore. So, I really don't know what to believe. But it doesn't matter, really. It's not my business anymore.

Because of this break up, I really appreciated my friends. SMSg. I couldn't live without them. And my college friends too, the sabaw moments everyday are keeping me alive =)) I wish I could just make them my lovelife :)) Sana hindi na lang na imbento ang lovelife :(

Without my break up problem, I would really be very very happy right now.

Sorry for talking too much. It's who I am. :( :))

Well that didn't end well.

Kaasar. Punong puno ng BOYFRIEND tong blog na to. OH WELL. :))

I just need something or someone to let these thoughts and/or feelings out of my system.

If I'm still the person who posted my previous blogs, well I should be very happy right now because Amos and I are over. Now you may wonder, why? JOKE. I BET NO ONE'S WONDERING WHY. WE'RE BOUND TO BREAK UP. Our relationship was obviously dysfunctional.

Last Monday, while I was stalking him and his lovelife, I found out that he has a girlfriend. Maybe it's practical and excusable because technically, we have been separated since November 2010: 8 months. But in my excuse for not being over him UNTIL NOW, ANONG PETSA NA BTW, we still went out 'til mid February or March, I think? He'd sometimes tell me that he doesn't love me anymore, but I wouldn't believe him because we were still together and were still having fun. I chose to believe that there's nothing wrong. Although I have accepted the fact that I was fooling myself, and that what was happening then was going nowhere but downhill.

It's a stupid thing to think about the past and be all depressed about it, but I can't help it. I can't think of anything but the past, and the what-could-have-beens. I think that's a fairly reasonable thing to do since we had been together for 2 years, and I have already chosen him to be the person to be with for the rest of my life. I was wishing that he'd been thinking the same thing all along, BUT I GUESS I WAS WRONG.

We were happy, we were in love, why couldn't that just be enough for us to be together, FOREVER. He chose me, I chose him, why does the world have to make it complicated. It's as simple as it is.

I HAVE SO MANY WHY QUESTIONS. WHY.

Well, maybe there's something or someone better for me. Maybe I'm meant to live with dogs, and dogs alone =)) I WON'T REALLY KILL MYSELF IF THAT EVER IS TRUE BECAUSE DOGS ARE THE SHIT, THEY'RE THE BEST PET EVER AND THEY ARE FREAKING ADORABLE, EVEN THE PITBULLS. HEHE :)

I wish I could've gotten the clues that this wouldn't last soon enough that you could have not hurt me.



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