You be the judge.

I felt an improvement today. So, yea, after maybe weeks of stopping myself from looking at my ex's profile, I did today. I was curious on what he's doing lately. Does that mean I haven't been able to move on yet? Maybe, maybe not.

I saw some pretty horrible things. Well, not horrible exactly. It's.. about THEM. The weird thing is that, I was not hurt because they're together and everything, but.. I was hurt because I just remembered how much lies he told me, how much of a lie he is. I mean, why would anyone do that? What did I do to deserve those lies? :|

Maybe he found his soulmate. Maybe he had no other choice but to leave me. It's okay. For your happiness, I'm fine with it.

But, you know what, I'm KIND OF happy because I have found someone else, that I am sure.. IF EVER he would actually love me, he will not be THIS bitch about it. I wish he'd just like me and then get this over with. Let's proceed to the labidabs part. :))

I can honestly say that he's not a rebound of some sort, because I was already moving on when I realized I like him. It's not like.. I like him just to like someone. I like him because he's awesome.

It's not like I planned this. It just happened.

Whenever I imagine my life with him, everything seems so much better.

Well, you be the judge. Do you think this is a rebound thing? For me kasi, it's not. I had my fair share of moving on time. I think I'm ready for a new relationship now.

But, I'm not even sure if he likes me or not. Who knows? Who the hell knows.

Crush him

I feel happy and inspired. Having a crush on someone is not as heartbreaking as I expect it to be. It's all full of that kilig moments that I love. HAHAHA. Hopefully this won't just stop at this stage. But it probably will. He doesn't like me, and that's that. :( I'd rather.. NOT ASSUME. BUT WHO KNOWS? Who the hell knows.

Paulo Coelho once tweeted "People who love in the expectation of being loved in return are wasting their time" Yes, I'm expecting SOMETHING TO HAPPEN, so is that wasting my time? Am I stupid? :( BUT OH WELL, this crush thing will stay like this forever. This relationship is a one way thing anyway. :(

UGGGGGH. I don't know. I don't want to expect anything, but I want SOMETHING to happen.

Don't get your hopes up.

This Is How I Define Love

Love. What is love? :| Maybe' I'm too young for this stuff. Maybe, I don't know a single thing about love. All I know is, love is a fairy tale story that will end with a happily ever after. And the search for my prince charming shall start IMMEDIATELY. =))

If something's meant to happen, it will happen, right? So.. there's this new guy, right? I'm starting to like him more and more, and I don't know if this is safe or what :| I want to just trust God. Maybe if this certain person doesn't like me, then he's not meant for me. Maybe it's that simple.

Love isn't supposed to be planned anyway. I mean, yea I like this guy, but I won't give him a flower or anything. I will just be who I am whenever I'm with him, and see how things will go. I'll give him my go signals, and that's it. If he won't fall in love with me, then I shall move on. It's that simple. Theoretically simple, of course.

Maybe, love is a kind of surprise gift from God. And a lesson for all of us, that things doesn't always go the way you planned it to, and that God will only give what's the best for you.

It's KIND OF funny when I think about this new guy. He's not EXACTLY my type, physically. But his personality's perfect. I can live with that for the rest of my life, I think xD

BUT, always expect the unexpected. Love is something that comes into your life naturally. Don't give in to the social pressure of the need to find the right one for you already. Don't be sad for not finding the right one for you, YET. PATIENCE, my friend. God will give you the most awesome person for you.. maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but SOMEDAY. You will certainly NOT die alone XD

I believe in destiny, yes. And that everything happens for a reason. We should not let any day pass without living in it. Live life to the fullest, yes, all people should do that. God made us alive because of SOMETHING.

I'm not really a religious person, but I believe in God, and that He's smart enough to make all these a reality.

Problems are made for us to solve. God will never give us anything we can't solve. Never give up.

Now, I shall let destiny lead the way.

I live a sad life.

So, I saw Amos yesterday. Yep, he's still so cute :3 I tried to avoid looking at him, but his cuteness is like.. magnetic O_O :))

We didn't talk to each other. We didn't even greet each other. Mainly because we didn't have the chance to. I think he was trying to avoid me? I don't know exactly. I talked to his dad and siblings, so.. I really don't know. :))

What I'm really thinking about is.. Why is he doing this? I mean, what are his true feelings? Because I can SOMEHOW feel like.. he's lying to himself. But, what do I know. I didn't get to talk to him for the past few months anyway. Maybe he's in a different state of mind now? Maybe he's a different person now? Well, I doubt that.

How I wish he'd be mature enough to face all of the things he did wrong. I wish he'd just apologize to me SINCERELY.

I wish he's really happy with his life right now because I can't do anything to help him be happy. GETS NIYO BA KO? :|

Teach me how to let go.

So, there's this guy.

I like this certain guy. Ewan ko pa, actually. As of now, no one but myself knows that I'm starting to feel serious about this guy. Pero, I don't want to go there, yet. I don't want to fall in love with him yet because I'm afraid of rejection. I don't exactly know what his true feelings are, but I think I have an idea.. and I can somehow say that he's not interested in me. Sad.

We spend time together.. but not alone though. There are alone times but.. not romantic ones.

I love spending time with him. But no, he doesn't feel the same way. I THINK. Hopefully, I'm wrong.. but I'm probably right.

So, I'm going to keep this secret with me until.. he likes me. :B

How to Solve All Your Problems

I can't say this enough, pero grabe, MY FRIENDS ARE THE BEST PEOPLE EVER. Sobrang, I love them. I'd probably be dead without them. LITERALLY DEAD. Okay lang kahit binubully ako ng mga peeps, I still feel your love =))))))))

I've been so happy lately. I keep on thinking that something bad will happen soon. I can just feel it, for months now. You'll probably know via twitter and/or facebook if ever that bad thing would actually happen because.. Yeaaaaa, I'm a social network person. :))

Tonight, I feel like something's missing. I'M NOT SURE WHAT IT IS EXACTLY. I mean, maybe a lovelife, but I don't want to be in a commitment right now actually. I just want to share my happiness with someone, and I don't want to feel alone. I bet none of you got that. I want someone to whom I could tell all my stories to.

Am I selfish? I also want someone who depends on me. Like, I want to feel like someone needs me, as in.. I'm the most important person in someone's life. Does that make up for my selfishness? Wait, that's more selfishness! What's wrong with me :(

Maybe I'll be happy then? Or maybe not. Probably not.

But wait, I don't know what the meaning of happiness is anymore. What is happiness, really? Can I really reach that state, like.. permanently? Happiness is like a temporary high. It will soon be gone. So, what's the point of wanting it anyway? Yea, life's too complicated for me, kill me now.

I'm "chasing down every temporary high" sabi ni Stacie Orrico. I'm chasing happiness. Hindi ba lahat naman tayo? Who would want to be sad :( After happiness, there's no other way forward but to be.. unhappy. SO, WHAT TO DO?! Live life and don't think about stuff. Yea that's the solution. Thank you brain cells, may you rest in peace.