Wasted time.

Somewhere, someone is searching for someone like me. And can't wait to meet him/her. HOPEFULLY HE'S A HE, NOT A SHE. PLEASE. :)

I felt a lot better when Amos talked to me. Though our conversations were really short, pointless and stupid, it really made my day. But at least, I did not let my cant-move-on-self be stupid and careless about where I stand. I will move on SOON and that's final. KAHIT ANO PANG SABIHIN NIYA :)

ENOUGH ABOUT LOVELIFE PLEASE. Today I have discovered something about myself: that I can't really do long distance relationships, NOT AT ALL. Being in a different environment means being in a different state of mind. Personalities are bound to change and it's very uncomfortable to be with him/her again, well, at least it is for me. I wish everyone would just stay close to me. I want everyone to be a part of my everyday life and I want to know them more and more, because people are very interesting and I love them :)) :3

So I saw this little kitty earlier, SO CUUUUTE :3 But it's dirty and wet :( I really wanted to adopt him/her but I don't know how to take care of a cat :( Sooner or later that kitty will die and I will be sad and depressed. And to make myself feel better, I'll just imagine that kitty being in the kitty heaven with God, SO CUTE HEAVEN. :3

If ever I'd be allowed to enter heaven, I wish Sandwich would be there with me. My sister told me that animals don't have souls therefore they can't enter our heaven. It really made me sad but then I imagined doggy heaven, SO CUTE :3

I wish I have a life :)) I mean, a more meaningful life. Look at me blogging stupid thoughts, LIKE WHO WOULD CARE TO READ THIS. :)) I wish I already knew why I am still living, the meaning of my life, its purpose. I want to just do it and get it over with then die, then know if I'd go to heaven or hell.

The image of hell's torturing my mind but I can't stop being naughty :)))))))))))))))))) WELL THAT SOUNDED DIRTY I'M SORRY. :))))))))))))))

STOP READING MY BLOG, ITS POINTLESS AND YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME, SORRY.

It's really a waste of time to think about the past. Live now, and appreciate what you have.

I hate people who don't appreciate the people that loves them! Those users, douchebags, assholes, scambags, jerkoffs, i hate them. (Terms taken from Kanye West's song Runaway)

I just wish that people would just love one another then make life more simple. SAY NO TO DIVORCE PLEASE, LOVE YOUR WIFE/HUSBAND. DON'T MARRY ANYONE IF YOU'RE NOT 50000000000000000% SURE, PLEASE.

If divorce would be legalized, then people wouldn't take marriage seriously, because they can easily break their marriage. IF YOU'RE GOING TO BREAK THE MARRIAGE, WHY GET MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?! AND THINK ABOUT THE KIDS PLEASE.

No, my parents are not going to be separated or anything, BUT PLEASE. THIS DIVORCE THING, SO NOT WORTH THE GOVERNMENT'S TIME. Is this another corruption idea??!?!?!?!?! ONE WAY OR ANOTHER I KNOW PEOPLE WILL GET MONEY FROM THIS. STUPID CORRUPTS, WANT TO CUT THEIR HANDS PLEASE. :-L

STUPID BLOG I KNOW, IM SORRY BUT THOSE ARE MY THOUGHTS =))))))))))) KBYE :*

Sana hindi na lang na imbento ang lovelife :(

Someone told me that a break up is not really about who's losing or winning. I'm not really tallying points or something, but I do know that I'm losing, and it feels bad to lose. It feels bad that I've already been replaced, while I'm still being a sad bitch because of him. I think I'm better off "losing" because if I would've gotten into a new relationship as soon as he did, it wouldn't feel right. I still have feelings for him, so I shall move on properly, and then go to the next guy.

Another someone told me that his new relationship's just a rebound or somewhere near like rebound. Well, I wouldn't believe that because I don't think that he's the kind of person that would do that. But see, he's not the person that I thought he is. After the break up, I really didn't know who he was anymore. So, I really don't know what to believe. But it doesn't matter, really. It's not my business anymore.

Because of this break up, I really appreciated my friends. SMSg. I couldn't live without them. And my college friends too, the sabaw moments everyday are keeping me alive =)) I wish I could just make them my lovelife :)) Sana hindi na lang na imbento ang lovelife :(

Without my break up problem, I would really be very very happy right now.

Sorry for talking too much. It's who I am. :( :))

Well that didn't end well.

Kaasar. Punong puno ng BOYFRIEND tong blog na to. OH WELL. :))

I just need something or someone to let these thoughts and/or feelings out of my system.

If I'm still the person who posted my previous blogs, well I should be very happy right now because Amos and I are over. Now you may wonder, why? JOKE. I BET NO ONE'S WONDERING WHY. WE'RE BOUND TO BREAK UP. Our relationship was obviously dysfunctional.

Last Monday, while I was stalking him and his lovelife, I found out that he has a girlfriend. Maybe it's practical and excusable because technically, we have been separated since November 2010: 8 months. But in my excuse for not being over him UNTIL NOW, ANONG PETSA NA BTW, we still went out 'til mid February or March, I think? He'd sometimes tell me that he doesn't love me anymore, but I wouldn't believe him because we were still together and were still having fun. I chose to believe that there's nothing wrong. Although I have accepted the fact that I was fooling myself, and that what was happening then was going nowhere but downhill.

It's a stupid thing to think about the past and be all depressed about it, but I can't help it. I can't think of anything but the past, and the what-could-have-beens. I think that's a fairly reasonable thing to do since we had been together for 2 years, and I have already chosen him to be the person to be with for the rest of my life. I was wishing that he'd been thinking the same thing all along, BUT I GUESS I WAS WRONG.

We were happy, we were in love, why couldn't that just be enough for us to be together, FOREVER. He chose me, I chose him, why does the world have to make it complicated. It's as simple as it is.

I HAVE SO MANY WHY QUESTIONS. WHY.

Well, maybe there's something or someone better for me. Maybe I'm meant to live with dogs, and dogs alone =)) I WON'T REALLY KILL MYSELF IF THAT EVER IS TRUE BECAUSE DOGS ARE THE SHIT, THEY'RE THE BEST PET EVER AND THEY ARE FREAKING ADORABLE, EVEN THE PITBULLS. HEHE :)

I wish I could've gotten the clues that this wouldn't last soon enough that you could have not hurt me.



VISIT http://www.paradigma.ru/wonderland/ IT IS AWESOME

My life sucks because..

I don't want my boyfriend anymore, yet he's still there even though I told him I don't want him anymore a million times.

I have to leave my boyfriend to be happy.

my boyfriend is strict and he sucks out all the fun there is in my life.

my friends don't like my boyfriend.

I always have to pick: my friends or my boyfriend.

I need to leave my boyfriend, but I don't want to and he forces me not to leave him.

I hate how my mother cooks.

I got the wrong course

I am now an average student.

I am not creative, and my course requires me to be creative.

I don't have money, which is needed for everyday living.

I don't have a summer job, even if I need and want one. And my parents don't care.

The Impossible Dream

"I want a relationship that is just right, not like what's happening now, it's too much. I want us to have time for ourselves. I want neither my world to depend on you, nor your world to depend on me. I want us to prioritize our studies, then ourselves, and then our relationship. We should trust each other and believe that we will get through everything together. We should let each other grow. The role of each other in each other's life is to be there, and never let each other feel sad and/or lonely."

I just want to be happy. I want everyone that became a part of my life, still be a part of my life. I don't want friendships to end just because of a relationship. That's just stupid. I want a boyfriend who would trust me, and support me no matter what. I am not happy now, but it's not yet too late to fix things up. So, my deal is this: Love me or leave me. Love me in a way that I want to be loved. Give me a relationship that is just right. Or else, you can just leave me. I'm tired of you hurting me, whenever you make simple things overcomplicated. I love you, but I don't want this anymore. I know I should accept who you are, but this just isn't right anymore.

Okay, why am I making a personal message, a blog? It's because I can say my thoughts a little clearer in black and white, and blogs don't have a character limit. And maybe because I don't want to say this to him yet. He would not read this anyway. I will tell him everything sooner or later.

I don't want him to leave me, though. I need him actually. I just need him to be there. I don't know how I can go through life if he chooses to leave me. Have it all, or lose it all.

I just need to let things out.

Happy Ending

I've always wished for a happy ending, or maybe a fairy tale story. I've been too hopeful that my first would be my last, just like in the movies. What is now will be my forever, that's what I wish for. And maybe that's why, no matter how stupid I look to all of you people, in no way will I abandon my love. But, things are turning out in a different way than what I've expected. I finally found Love, but my happy ending is not there. So the question is, should I settle for true love that doesn't have its happy ending, or forget this true love, wish and wait for a better one. But what if the next true love won't come? Maybe my life is supposed to be this way, I should take risks. I can't have everything.

I should have waited. If I could turn back time, I would do everything just the same, except I would've turned back to my chair and looked for my ipod. Goodbye ipod.

People just can't understand how important it is for me to have this moment, this feeling. And at the same time, have this freedom. I have proven my loyalty, and there is no reason not to trust me. I just, love you. Yet, I hate you as much.

I can't fully explain how I am feeling right now. I just want to be happy.