My life sucks because..

I don't want my boyfriend anymore, yet he's still there even though I told him I don't want him anymore a million times.

I have to leave my boyfriend to be happy.

my boyfriend is strict and he sucks out all the fun there is in my life.

my friends don't like my boyfriend.

I always have to pick: my friends or my boyfriend.

I need to leave my boyfriend, but I don't want to and he forces me not to leave him.

I hate how my mother cooks.

I got the wrong course

I am now an average student.

I am not creative, and my course requires me to be creative.

I don't have money, which is needed for everyday living.

I don't have a summer job, even if I need and want one. And my parents don't care.

The Impossible Dream

"I want a relationship that is just right, not like what's happening now, it's too much. I want us to have time for ourselves. I want neither my world to depend on you, nor your world to depend on me. I want us to prioritize our studies, then ourselves, and then our relationship. We should trust each other and believe that we will get through everything together. We should let each other grow. The role of each other in each other's life is to be there, and never let each other feel sad and/or lonely."

I just want to be happy. I want everyone that became a part of my life, still be a part of my life. I don't want friendships to end just because of a relationship. That's just stupid. I want a boyfriend who would trust me, and support me no matter what. I am not happy now, but it's not yet too late to fix things up. So, my deal is this: Love me or leave me. Love me in a way that I want to be loved. Give me a relationship that is just right. Or else, you can just leave me. I'm tired of you hurting me, whenever you make simple things overcomplicated. I love you, but I don't want this anymore. I know I should accept who you are, but this just isn't right anymore.

Okay, why am I making a personal message, a blog? It's because I can say my thoughts a little clearer in black and white, and blogs don't have a character limit. And maybe because I don't want to say this to him yet. He would not read this anyway. I will tell him everything sooner or later.

I don't want him to leave me, though. I need him actually. I just need him to be there. I don't know how I can go through life if he chooses to leave me. Have it all, or lose it all.

I just need to let things out.

Happy Ending

I've always wished for a happy ending, or maybe a fairy tale story. I've been too hopeful that my first would be my last, just like in the movies. What is now will be my forever, that's what I wish for. And maybe that's why, no matter how stupid I look to all of you people, in no way will I abandon my love. But, things are turning out in a different way than what I've expected. I finally found Love, but my happy ending is not there. So the question is, should I settle for true love that doesn't have its happy ending, or forget this true love, wish and wait for a better one. But what if the next true love won't come? Maybe my life is supposed to be this way, I should take risks. I can't have everything.

I should have waited. If I could turn back time, I would do everything just the same, except I would've turned back to my chair and looked for my ipod. Goodbye ipod.

People just can't understand how important it is for me to have this moment, this feeling. And at the same time, have this freedom. I have proven my loyalty, and there is no reason not to trust me. I just, love you. Yet, I hate you as much.

I can't fully explain how I am feeling right now. I just want to be happy.