I'm scared to think about myself and to whom I had become. I'm scared of knowing that I lost a part of myself while getting here. I know I'm not perfect, but I was always trying to be. Lately, it feels like I've already given up. I'm so caught up on the things that had happened between me and my ex that I feel like I'm restricting myself from falling in love like the way I did before. And I feel so guilty because the person that has to deal with this is my most awesome boyfriend ever. I can't even begin to describe him because I can't find a word that gives justice to how amazing he is. You can't imagine how lucky I am to find a person like him. And to be in love with me, is just.. out of this world. I can't think of anything ginormously good that I had done to deserve him. If anything, I was really waiting for a punishment from all the sins I've committed. But, God, am I lucky. He is the sweetest, kindest, the most thoughtful man I've ever been with. It's ridiculous, how this world works, but this man, I won't give up for anything, even everything.
Now, back to the topic. After dealing with all the drama about my ex, and settling with the most incredible man I know, I've suddenly forgot to be a girlfriend. And I don't know how to get back into being that hopeless romantic again. Don't get me wrong, I love Motby so much, more than you can imagine. But it feels like I've given up on the thought that we'll end up together. I've been so pessimistic about everything, and this relationship is no exception. Sure, we've been dreaming about our futures together, but something inside of me is just giving up on a great future. My heart had been full of disappointments, and pain, and all things negative, and it's taking its time on recovering. And in that recovery, Motby had really been a big help. I can feel inside myself, little by little, that I've been replacing these pain and negativity, with love, and care, and happiness of being with this incredible guy. I'm slowly getting the hope that I've lost back, all thanks to this amazing boyfriend of mine. I just hope that I'll be back on my feet again before he gives up on me.
Please don't give up on me, Motby.
Now, back to the topic. After dealing with all the drama about my ex, and settling with the most incredible man I know, I've suddenly forgot to be a girlfriend. And I don't know how to get back into being that hopeless romantic again. Don't get me wrong, I love Motby so much, more than you can imagine. But it feels like I've given up on the thought that we'll end up together. I've been so pessimistic about everything, and this relationship is no exception. Sure, we've been dreaming about our futures together, but something inside of me is just giving up on a great future. My heart had been full of disappointments, and pain, and all things negative, and it's taking its time on recovering. And in that recovery, Motby had really been a big help. I can feel inside myself, little by little, that I've been replacing these pain and negativity, with love, and care, and happiness of being with this incredible guy. I'm slowly getting the hope that I've lost back, all thanks to this amazing boyfriend of mine. I just hope that I'll be back on my feet again before he gives up on me.
Please don't give up on me, Motby.
